PREFACE: This post could come off like a rant, maybe it actually is, but bear with me. I’m a very curious person!
I’m fortunate to work in a very diverse field with LOTS of interesting people. I’m talking people of all ages, single, married, all colors, all sexualities, etc. You get it. Since I’m around so many types of people, I hear stories about all kinds of journeys, troubles, and experiences. This whole thought process started a few weeks back and I just started to wonder how common this “lifestyle” actually is.
I have a co-worker (let’s refer to him as D) in his early 30’s. He’s been having some vehicle issues lately (it’s a very old car with LOTS of expensive issues) and it all boils down to one thing: he needs to cut his losses and get a new-to-him car. D is claiming he can’t get a new one until his parents come with him to pick one out…what? D whines about this often and D’s parents are going to help him with the purchase. He says he doesn’t have any money; that said, D makes the same wages that I do. D has no debt – student loans or credit cards. He also saves money, but probably spends about $300+/month dining out (his guess). He also reveals that his parents pay his car insurance and cell phone bill. D is OVER 30. What gives? He’s a grown man – own place, full-time job, and live-in girlfriend. Life is solid for him – why do his parents subsidize his life?
Another colleague of mine (please refer to her as B) has another extremely subsidized lifestyle. She’s younger and more of a recent college graduate, so I’m more willing to be sympathetic here. B’s parents pay her cell phone bill, her insurance (car & renters), they send her an allowance, and pay for her health insurance – which she could be getting for free from our employer. She also has no student debt or credit card debt. Again, what?
I guess what I’m wondering is this: Parents, once your kids are self-sufficient, when do you cut them off financially?
I was PROMPTLY cut off at two major intervals: high school graduation and college graduation. At high school graduation, I became responsible for all of my gas and car (not insurance yet) costs, my cell phone bill, any “extras,” and the rent for my first college apartment. Upon college graduation, I became responsible for everything that a typical adult pays for in their life – home, transportation, insurance, etc. My parents are two hard working people who make a very standard middle class living in rural America so I’m sure they couldn’t stand to support me forever. Sure, it’s not always been easy, but I’ve learned to be resourceful and how to provide for myself. I’ve also learned about negotiation and bartering because sometimes that’s what you do when money is low. I’ve eaten a lot of PB & J and ramen noodles in the past, but I’ve always done it my way. I would not have it any other way. I’ve learned so much about responsibility, myself in general, and how to “live.”
As a gainfully employed adult, I’m wondering WHY people would still want their parents to pay their bills when they are fully capable of making their own way in the world. It seems to me that, in at least the two cases I’ve listed, people are afraid to “cut the cord” when it comes to facing grown-up life. I understand a legitimate request for help from parents every now and then, that’s life and emergencies do happen. However, if I’m a third of the way through my life as an adult, I’d hope to still not be leeching off of anyone if I could help it. I’m wondering how common this actually is? How does this affect our parents and their retirement plans if they are still funding the lives of their adult children?
Then, for my parent readers, maybe you haven’t reached this point in your parenthood journey yet, but please tell me what you think. How would you feel to have your kids kids still receiving so much financial support from you after the age of 25? After the age of 30? Or more?
Here’s my two cents:
- If you have a full-time job, no debt, and money to spare for “luxuries,” your parents should no longer be subsidizing your life.
- If you have graduated from college, have a job, and no debts to repay, your parents don’t need to give you an allowance.
Like I said, this might come off as a rant, but I’m genuinely very curious about this whole idea. I know everyone is different and that’s fine, but I’m just sayin’. So…<end rant>.
Parents: How do you handle this type of thing? Tell your adult kids no? Give them money?
Part of:
One more BROKE TWENTY-SOMETHING 
Makes you wonder what will happen to them when their parents are no longer around. We love to help our children though when they have a need. (underline that)
EXACTLY! I totally understand helping when there is a genuine need!
Yeah I was responsible for everything at 17. At one point I moved in with my boyfriend at the times parents because there was no way I was affording rent even with three jobs, but I paid for that with my sanity :p. The health insurance I can almost understand. When ACA pushed the age back to 26 I used my mom’s through one of my pregnancies. But I didn’t have employer sponsored insurance at the time. And I payed the increase in premiums, deductibles, etc. Does she have younger siblings? If so, they might be getting her covered for free, too. Maybe their plan is just better and if it’s free either way…
The 30+ year old I don’t get, though. Though I do know people like that in my life, too.
I agree to an extent, my parents actually still pay two of my bills sometimes – phone and EZ-Pass. I suspect they pay the EZ-Pass since they use my car a lot of the time while out on tour or away on cruise ships, if they decided not to, I really wouldn’t care. For my phone, I usually pay my dad up front for the year, but some years I go to give him the check and he says it’s been a good month and not to worry about it, other years, he takes the check. Since this works for us, I guess none of us see any reason to mess with it. If they wanted me to pay all of my bills though, that wouldn’t bother me either.
In your situation, I think your case makes sense. If you’re both getting benefit out of the car, I think it makes perfect sense that they contribute to the EZ-Pass. Even with the phone bill, it appears that you’re making a good faith effort to pay the bill. However, in the cases of my colleagues, I don’t believe it occurs to them to even attempt to pay and that is what (I think) bothers me most.
Yeah, I don’t understand that. I would feel like such a moocher. I appreciate that they covered most of my bills all through school, but they didn’t even have to tell me once I had my own income that my bills were my own. I suppose that’s just a reflection of how they raised me though, so in a way, supporting your kids that long kind of becomes your own fault.
Paying bills for your fully functioning adult child does them no favors. My hubby was in a similar situation before we got married. Lived at home, parents paid bills, credit cards but no checking account, but worked full time. We did not get engaged because of it. I would not allow myself to go into a marriage with someone that didn’t know how to take care of himself financially or otherwise. 2 years in an apartment with his buddies was life changing. (Married 14 years now 😌)
You are a wise woman! You know, I know several young men who are just as you describe…that’s a little scary!
When I was growing up, my parent’s paid for my older brother’s undergraduate, graduate, and law school degree. Throughout that time I regularly heard the phrase, “when your brother is off the payroll, we’re gonna do this”. That bothered me. Why would my parent’s, who worked so hard for their money, have to wait to start living their lives, until my brother stop taking their money? It’s then, I voluntary got off the payroll, when I was 20.
When I had my own kid, beginning when she was 12, I told her she would no longer live with me, after she turned 18, nor would I subsidize her life. In other words, she should be prepared. I trusted my parenting skills. I didn’t raise a child. I raised an adult.
She was prepared. She became independent, sometimes faster than I hoped. She was chomping at the bit to turn 18 and move out.
She’s been relatively successful, with a few setbacks
setbacks, but nothing catastrophic.
I think that says volumes about your parenting – you’ve raised an independent and self-sufficient adult! That’s wonderful!
If you always subsidize your children’s income, always bale them out of trouble, always pay their way, you are denying them the opportunity to learn how to take care of themselves, to grow as a person, and to experience the empowering feeling that comes from making it through hard times. This is not good parenting. Of course, you should help out when a genuine need occurs, as long as it does not become the expected norm.
I absolutely agree!
I’m one of these parents, but to be fair, my son has a lot of student loan debt so I pay his cell and car insurance. Even if he could afford it, it’d be cheaper tp pay my rate than get his own. My husband and I were both self sufficient by age 18 and better off for it. But there were definitely struggles, big time! My oldest daughter lives with us with her son, but pays her own way…NOW. Lots of help along the way though. My youngest graduates from college this year. We have saved lots for retirement but I have to say, I look forward to everyone being self sufficient. I think we’ve earned our dream trip to europe. Someday!
YES! You take that trip to Europe! Sounds like you deserve it!
I guess I’m either mean or old-school, but I cut the financial cord sharply and early; their debt didn’t play into my decision at all. Their debt is THEIR debt! Not to say that I don’t help them; enexpected car repairs or other things that have created dire and immediate need are different, and everyone needs a little help now and then. Learning self-suffice cry is never easy; it takes practice and a little guidance. That being said, an ALLOWANCE at that age? Absurd; no wonder so many young adults act so helpless and lost…they never learned HOW to do it on their own.
I agree – I know so many of my fellow young adults who act lost and helpless. I’m so thankful that I have had the opportunities and ambition to learn things like this on my own. Like I’ve mentioned, it wasn’t always easy, but I’ve always come out with my head above water.
On health insurance I dont see an issue- my parents have a family plan due to my younger sister so im covered for free thus I used it as my secondary insurance thru my first child. My parents wanted us to focus on our education so sure thru school I worked pt but no crazy 3 jobs or long hours. Therefore til college grad they paid a lot (not car or allowance). Once I graduated it was all me. They are always there in a real need but I’d never leech. At 25 im undecided, a little confused cuz she seems stable not like still getting settled. At 30 I cringe- tho its prob both parent & child having trouble cutting that cord
Yes, I’m with you – the 25 year old situation, I’m a little more willing to forgive. However, the 30 year old situation, just makes me shake my head.
Our four kids (ages 16-20) all had to get jobs when they turned 16. We bought them each a vehicle and paid the insurance but they had to pay for their own gas. The 20 yr old is in college and lives in her own apartment where she pays for her own rent, utilities, and groceries. The 19 yr old is also in college and plans to find herself an apartment this summer and will be expected to pay her own expenses. The 18 yr old boy is still in high school. He decided he wanted to upgrade the small pickup we bought him so a year ago, he sold it, used that money as a down payment on a different one and pays his own monthly payment on the loan he took out to make up the difference. The 16 yr old girl has been watching the older siblings and knows the expectations. Our opinion is, if they don’t start learning these things while they are still at home, when will they? The 20 yr old has thanked me several times for doing what we did. She has college friends who are clueless when it comes to managing money, and that’s sad. We do still have everyone on one cell phone plan and handle medical insurance, but one they are done with college, those become their responsibilities as well. Unexpected expenses like car repairs, we generally pay for up front and they pay us back as needed. Minor stuff hasn’t been a big deal, but buying replacement parts after a collision has required repayment.
YES! I was in a sorority in college and I cannot tell you how many different times that I would see my fellow sisters just befuddled by money. Or when the bank of Daddy wouldn’t cave in, all hell would break loose! Learning about managing money – no matter how little/much – is such a crucial skill and I think you’ve set your kids up in a fabulous way!
If you have graduated from HS and don’t go to college then you need to be be prepared to support yourself. If you go to college or are learning a trade we will help you during that time frame. Once you are done w college or trade school we give our kids 3-6 months then it is up to them. We do let them stay on our cell and insurance plans – because it saves them 50% but they must pay us monthly to cover the costs. My parents treated me exactly the same and like you I wanted to do it myself as a sense of pride. We have kids ages 22, 21, 19, 18 and 15 and they fall in to all dif categories of status so we have faced this in several ways. It is the job of a parent to raise a self sufficient person who stays out of jail 😉 That is the measure of success to me as a parent IMO. Great topic.
I think keeping them on your plans is great because it gives them the chance to face these costs as an adult, even if it is discounted by your plan. I think making them pay their share is more than fair!
I think it’s another way of sissy-parenting for many…parents afraid to do the right thing. As a parent it’s our job to teach our children and prepare them. And as you said, sometimes it’s been a little bit tough for you sometimes but those are the times that help us grow and mature. These young people are not learning how to live within a limited income. Few of us have unlimited income! So how/when will they ever learn?
If you are living as a ‘grown-up’, ie., living in your own place, especially with a live-in partner you should be making it on your own–time to grow up! (But living with parents forever is not what I’m suggesting either)
I can see continuing to keep a child on health I nsurance if it is an option and if the child doesn’t have coverage from their job; but that will come to an end, not continue indefinitely…so get a new plan before it runs out.
People are not learning to live within their means. That’s a necessary life-lesson!
I do give my grown, married children gifts of money or buy a wanted ‘luxury’ sometimes if I’m able. But it’s not an obligation for me or expectation from them, which makes it much more enjoyable for us both.
I fault the parents more than the adult-children. I applaud those of you that feel responsible for yourselves & don’t want to be moochers. But parents do your job…teach them, let them learn hard lessons. Cut the cord!
I agree! I get confused by people who don’t want to be responsible for their own lives and keep taking the financial support from their parents. If there was a dire circumstance, please ask for help! However, if you are completely capable of saving some money every month and paying for all the fun trips you want to take, you don’t need your parents help anymore.
I’m 24 and I live with my boyfriend, but I’m still on my parents health insurance (and I will be until I’m 26 and can’t be anymore, simply because the insurance provided through my work isn’t very good and it’s silly to spend money on sub-par insurance). My parents also pay for my cell phone bill on the “family plan” with my siblings.
My parents paid for all the “necessities” when I still lived at home and I was only responsible for my car payments and fun extras. I moved out when I was 22 and gainfully employed, and at that point I was responsible for my rent, utilities, car payment and car repairs, car insurance, renters ins, student loans, groceries, etc. Really the only things my parents still pay for are things that include the whole family group and I TRULY TRULY appreciate it. I put money into my savings from every paycheck but I still have a little left over for movies, books, and the occasional night out. If they suddenly lost some of their income and couldn’t/didn’t want to help me out anymore, I would just have to cancel my cable and get a cheaper cell plan to make ends meet.
My family started early with financial responsibility. I got a job when I was 16 and have had one ever since. I opened a savings account and got a low limit credit card that’s set to pay in full automatically every month to build my credit score when I turned 18.
I think starting early with financial responsibility is SO important! Sounds like your family set you up very well!
I can not imagine telling my child he’s out when he turns 18! You can raise them to be independent without throwing them out the moment they hit some arbitrary age.
Haha, I should probably add that I wasn’t kicked out of the house! I was just told that I had to be financially responsible for myself!
1) The definition of helping someone is doing something for them that they cannot do for themselves.
2) I also like the hard now easy later philosophy. Doing easy things now makes life more difficult later, and doing the hard things now can make life easier in the future.
Lots of parent from guilt. They will enable their kids. It’s called being Selfish and Its all about You, not your kids. Pushing through to Adulthood isn’t always easy, but let your children experience it and grow. Right now, my 24 year old has been sitting home (letting her girlfriend) pay for her because she hasn’t found a job in her chosen field. She is freelancing for the past 9 months. Oh, but she hasn’t made a dime yet. Seriously?! I want to Smack Her. Go get Any Job until you can find your dream job. We have cut her off financially. I don’t mind helping my kids once in a while in a jam when your helping yourself. Unfortunately, she’s in a relationship that the other person is afraid of losing her, so she is willing to let my daughter do whatever and they are struggling. But I refuse to participate in that. I’m not rewarding dysfunctional behavior and entitlement thinking. In my opinion, that relationship has changed her, as she wasn’t like that before she hooked up. Another lesson, pick your partner wisely. I guess we will see what happens. My mother enabled us as adults with money and it crippled us and I struggled all my life, never learning how to fight to be independent and stand on my two feet. It’s not happening with my kids. She will learn from her consequences.
I think you learn the best lessons when you’re learning from a consequence of your actions. Hang in there!
i’m a parent of five kids, two in college, one of whom is a senior in high school the graduates this year. I will subsidize cell phone bills and car insurance until they graduate college, then they are on their own. I may allow them to stay on my cell phone plan and my insurance plan because they can benefit from lower rates, but they will be writing me a check every month.
One thing my grandfather and my dad, always said (and now I’m saying it more often too) – “you’re not “The Man” until you’re paying all the bills,” so it would be a mistake to call D a “grown man.”
“you’re not “The Man” until you’re paying all the bills,” — that might be the best quote I’ve heard today. Thanks for that. It’s so true, in every regard.
Parent perspective –
My 25 yr old son is still on my health & vehicle insurance.
Health because his job doesn’t offer it, vehicle because it is less expensive together but he pays his portion.
He does occasionally phone with a request for advice/information (what should I look for in a used car, how to minimize tax burdens, suggestions for a good DRIP stock)
Otherwise he’s on his own with everything – including student loan debt and is often broke-but-OK. He was always raised with the idea that the things he had to do as a kid/teen (work/cook/clean/contribute) were all towards the goal of him being self sufficient (if broke) in his twenties.
However, as an adult child, I am also subsidizing my mother’s life and paying her Medicare supplemental insurance, which is a whole nother topic.
I totally think it’s reasonable to stay on your parent’s insurance IF YOU ARE WILLING to pay your own portion. I even did that with my own health insurance until mine kicked in for free at my job. I also think calling in for advice is legit; that’s why we have parents, for guidance, right? 🙂
I agree, but I would like to add that some families have a tradition of parents providing support even into adulthood. My husband’s great-grandparents helped their adult kids, his grandparents paid it forward to their kids, and his parents often offer to help him and his sister, with the expectation that they will in turn help their adult children. In this context, it makes sense. They also help older relatives in their retirement years. Basically, those with the most financial security help out those who may be struggling. And the expectaion is that once you are more financially secure, you’ll start helping those family members who aren’t. It’s a good system.
I get that! Everyone has different values. I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing to offer financial assistance to people in your family as long as the system isn’t abused.
I guess I should also add that (since he was 16) the “big” Christmas gift has been a AAA membership- because that is the gift that keeps on giving.
My parents cut me off at 18. Didn’t pay for school, transportation, food, shelter… nothing. I was broke as f*ck for about a year or so but I can honestly say I’m one of the most independent people out there. Got myself a job, then two more, got an apartment, saved up a for the past two years and now I’m paying for my own school and can afford a car by july. Not bad for someone with no help.
I think that speaks volumes about an individual: being able to support oneself without assistance is rough. However, you can say that you’ve done everything on your own and that you’ve worked hard for it!
When I started college, I couldn’t afford a car, insurance and gas so I didn’t have a car. My parents paid for my cell phone bill for about a year but after that, I was on my own. I still ask for help occasionally and my dad CLAIMS he will pay for half of my student loans, but I don’t expect him to.
On the other hand, my husband’s two younger brothers, both in their 20s still live at home and are taken care of fully by his parents. One is in school and works but still has his parents pay for all necessities. They even told me they won’t be able yo visit for a while because they have to pay back his student loans soon and they’ll be broke. (WHAT!?!) The other one rarely has a job and frequently quits when he does. He and his girlfriend just occupy the home.
Both of the brothers have been gifted cars by the rich grandma, whereas my husband won’t even ask when we need it.
Cut them off!!!
I’m with you! It’s one thing if you are trying hard to make a life for yourself, then something dire happens and makes you need to ask for help. I totally get that. However, I would be super frustrated if I had siblings like the ones you mention.
Hi, I stumbled upon this site from another site, from a Facebook post. It seems that I’m about a week and a half later to the party, but thought I’d share my thoughts here.
1. Your coworkers are what’s wrong with this country today. More people need to be willing to accept personal responsibility for their lives, actions, and most importantly financial futures.
2. I think it’s as much the parents fault as it is everyone else’s. To include the individual for being the leech, as well as our government for supporting a lifestyle of dependency in this country.
I am a 30 year old, disabled veteran, college graduate, and am doing okay for myself.
Although anything that I have accomplished was because I had grandparents that lived through the depression, and taught me how to be financially sensible.
I grew up in a broken family, with my mother, who worked a full time job, while going to college full time, to make a better life for me and my brother. The lessons I learned from her are immeasurable.
I had a job at 16. I bought my car, paid for gas and insurance, didn’t get an allowance. And learned the value of money and how to pay bills.
At 17, I joined the united States Army where I learned so much about everything, because I was raised to want to. I wanted to see and learn all I could. I didn’t want to have a life like my mother’s. A life, always working, and yet never having anything to show for it.
When I came home from the Army 8 years later, my mother have me a cheap place to live while going to school full time using my GI Bill. I graduated with a 3.96GPA and haven’t used my degree yet. Haven’t even tried.
But years past, I have grown a little more. I still try to learn anything that I can. And I have been fortunate enough to be able to buy a couple rural acres that my father, stepmother, and brother rent for $1/year since times have not been as kind to them.
I’m not looking for any recognition, but I think that sometimes things work out, and hopefully you have had the right direction in life to be able to make the most of those times.
If you have kids, don’t coddle them, challenge them. Don’t belittle them, teach them. Breed curiosity in them. And lead by example. If you don’t want a leech when they turn 30, teach them the right way thirty years in advance.
Geez!! To me your examples are just RIDICULOUS! I’d given anything not to have an student loans (mine are $60k +), no credit card debt and be making decent money. The human service field doesn’t pay much and I’m busting butt to do anything I can just to make my payments let alone have $300+ on fun money. Even with all of that I HATE asking for money and will do anything humanly possible not to. I’m even looking at moving to less desirable areas just to be able to be self sufficient. I think it’s high time your two examples grew up and realized how lucky they are. And in my opinion who wants to be dating a man like D who has to have his mommy & daddy along in order to pick out a car. After I had mine picked out my dad gave it the once over but that was it. How about D&B take on some of my student loans and expenses and see what it’s like to live in the real world.
I know – it frustrates me as well. I would happily share some of my student loans with them! 😉
I’ve had a fight with ky wife about this very thing. I told our daughter soon as she’s 18 shes either on her own in her own place or shes gonna pay us rent to stay in our house. I don’t believe in supporting the kids after they’re 18. All i hear is ‘I can’t wait until im 18 and dont have to listen to you or do chores around here’ and my reply is always the same. ‘Get a job and make sure you got your own place, car and food when you’re 18 then.’ My wife and I aren’t rich and barely survive as it is with a teenager and a 2 year old at home. Sure we agreed to help our daughter out when she graduates, which means we got a nice savings for her as a graduation present. But we are NOT gonna pay her rent for her, put gas in her pay her bills or anything. She wants to be an adult then shes gonna get the full package right off the bat. Say its mean or whatever you want but Im just gonna make sure my daughter is really on her own. When she realizes she screwed up and has no choice to come home, then shes gonna abide by the house rules without question or she won’t be walking through the door.
Im not a coddler or softhearted when it comes to adults. Once my kids are 18, they have a choice move out or pay rent. There is no oh give them time to adjust shit with me. When they turn 16 they will have a job and start paying for their own ‘extra’ stuff while saving for college. If I have to buy them a car, they have another choice either pay me back or take it as a graduation present. If they choose the latter then they dip into the savings we have going for them. Which means they get less at their grad party.
As my kids grow, they do chores to teach them responsobility and im begining to teach my daughter that money isn’t free and that for everything she wants, she has to pay for out of her allowance. If she doesn’t have enough to afford it, she has to do extra chores to make up the difference. Just like in the real world, you work for your money. Nobody is gonna just hand it to you.
I think that teaching responsibility is best! It’s fortunate (or unfortunate?) that I never did chores when I was living at home because I was very active in extra-curricular activities and jobs. That said, I was paying for my own gas to and from most of these activities and trust me, there were many! I think preparation in those small increments in so crucial! And a car would be a GREAT graduation gift, IMO.
I will apologize now for this being long. We support our 20 y.o. but there are special circumstances. My husband “B” is physically disabled and so our son “J” lives with us more to help out with physical jobs around the house and to care for his father while I’m @ work. With that being said “B” has a mind like a steal trap, has a great mind for business, dermination to NOT be supported by the gov’t teet, and is a great salesperson. So “B” collaborated with “J” to start a business to refurbish video game consoles and such. “B” loves coming up with different ideas to increase business and teaches “J” how to inventory, pay for business cost, budget for incidentals, how to price for labor & parts, how to “word” the sales pitch & close the deal, how to make a profit while still giving the customer a deal all by staying ethical. They meet their customers online through FB “word of mouth”, sale on ebay, and our local flea market on Saturdays 9 months oUT of the year. “J” could not possibly learn most of these skills in today’s pucluc schools, thank the heavens we homeschooled. Oh and have I mentioned our 16 y.o. “R”, also homeschooled and is Austistic, helps with the business and has the same business mind of his father. I hope for the day that “J” will be able to leave the nest and start his own life. I’m confident hell will be fine once he does.
Here’s a question: What happens when the adult children who are self-sufficient have parents that act as starving artists? If they have raised these self-sufficient adults then why can’t they care for themselves? Could their irresponsibility during the years of rearing their children force those children to become self-sufficient adults?
In response to your question, I am not really sure. I know if my parents were going to act as starving artists, I would only assist them in very specific ways. If they needed something in their home fixed, a car repair, etc. – it would not be on a monthly or weekly basis. It would only be if they needed something desperately. And to the second part: ” Could their irresponsibility during the years of rearing their children force those children to become self-sufficient adults?” Yes, I think it does. My parents were actually very irresponsible with money – bankrupt twice that I can remember. I think it gave me the impetus to force myself to do better. They are in a much better place NOW than I ever remember them being in, but I think it’s because they are no longer supporting anyone but themselves! Thanks for your comment.
Great post! As one who put myself through undergrad and two masters degree I’m amazed at how many long term adolescents (adults who still behave like teens) keep living emotionally, financially and sometimes literally in their parents basement not for extenuating circumstances, but rather immaturity. Yes, there are always exceptions. I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about those who don’t want to take responsibility for their adult lives.
I like what you’re writing! Glad I found you. Keep it up!
Thanks for stopping by! I’m working hard to keep this thing as up to date as I can!
Ughhh, I definitely know people like your coworker, D, who is ~30 and yet has no savings and isn’t quite financially independent. I shouldn’t be surprised anymore but when I find people like this, I wonder…how are you functioning? Are you not afraid of what will happen if mommy or daddy dies? My parents raised me to be frugal (well…more like cheap!) and as soon as I got my first job as a teen…I started taking on financial responsibilities. I think that’s a good way to start. You can ease your kids in to paying bills, and start small. So when I was a teen, I paid my own cellphone bill…which is cheap enough to be manageable for someone on minimum wage. And if you’re on a family plan you can just pay what your portion is to your parents, that still counts. In college, I paid my own food, paid for language classes I wanted to take that my college didn’t offer, took out loans, got financial aid, and saved as much as possible. My mom helped pay for what the loans and such didn’t, and she didn’t charge me rent. I got my own credit card and took care of that myself. After graduation, I paid off my debt in a year and started paying a portion of our rent until I eventually moved out. I think things scaled up very nicely for myself. I’m 27.
Yes, it does look like things have shaped up well for you! 🙂 I definitely wonder what people plan on doing when the bank of Mom & Dad closes for whatever reason. Will they be resourceful enough to figure it out?!